You Can’t Stop Thoughts… But You Can Stop Thinking

Nat Clarke
Aug 9
3 min read

Updated: Sep 5

If you’ve ever dipped your toe into mindfulness, ACT, or pop-psychology Instagram, you’ve probably heard something like: “You can’t stop thoughts. The more you try to suppress them, the stronger they come back.” The way I normally explain is to clients is by asking them NOT to think about a white bear for 30 seconds. Not one of them has been able to do it. Ever.

But the longer I’ve worked in the OCD space, the more I’ve found myself preaching a different truth, which seemingly contradicts this truth.

This different truth is that when you are obsessing over something – or really, ruminating over something – this is a form of thinking that you actually CAN STOP.

Am I contradicting myself? No.

Intrusive Thoughts vs. Analytical Thinking

Not all thoughts are created equal.

1. Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts or really just 'thoughts' are involuntary mental events — images, words, memories, urges. Thoughts like “What if I drove into oncoming traffic?” “Did I leave the stove on?” “Picture of a purple elephant wearing a top hat.” These thoughts can range from nice, funny, pleasant though to disturbing, absurd, or completely irrelevant. Trying to stop intrusive thoughts is impossible. And trying to stop them or force them away always backfires (‘don’t imagine a white bear’).

2. Rumination/Analytical Thinking

Analytical thinking however or just ‘thinking’ is purposeful mental work and it's something we can stop. It’s trying to solve a math problem or plan a birthday party. It’s trying to answer some question. For people with OCD this question could be something like ‘am I gay?’ ‘Am I a paedophile?’ ‘Did I get sexually aroused when I walked past that billboard or looked at that person?’ ‘Did I run over someone with my car back there?’

Rumination is a huge part of OCD for many people because it’s part of their compulsion. In fact, rumination may be their sole compulsion. And so just like we have to stop doing compulsions when they are physical (eg. Washing your hands, checking the door, etc.), we have to stop doing mental compulsions also if we went to be free form OCD.

And here’s the key: You can stop analytical thinking. Just like if you’re siting doing some maths homework and someone asks you to come and help in the kitchen. You can. You just stand up and stop doing the math.

Why This Distinction Matters

If we believe all thinking is uncontrollable, we risk staying stuck in mental loops for hours.If we recognise that intrusive thoughts are involuntary, but rumination is a choice, we gain leverage.

It’s like this:

You can’t stop a wave from arriving (intrusive thought).
But you can decide whether to grab a surfboard and ride it for the next two hours (rumination).

“But It Doesn’t Feel Like a Choice…”

I know, when you’re caught in it, rumination feels automatic. But so does scrolling Instagram. And yet, if someone took your phone away, the scrolling would stop.

Rumination is similar. You may not control the urge to keep thinking, but you can practice interrupting it. How?

How to Stop Ruminating

This isn’t about forcing a blank mind — it’s about catching the shift from “a thought popped in” to “I’m working on it.” Here are the 5 steps I teach to do this:

Spot the hand-off: Notice when you’ve gone from experiencing an intrusive thought to actively engaging with it. (“I’m mentally investigating again.”)
Name it: Say to yourself: “This is rumination — not helpful.”
Drop the pen: Imagine you’re doing a maths problem, and you literally set the pencil down.
Redirect: Shift attention to an external, physical task — make tea, step outside, feel your feet on the floor.
Tolerate the itch: The urge to “just think about it a bit more” will be strong. Let it sit there without scratching it. This is where change happens.

So if you’ve ever said to yourself or heard someone say ‘I just can’t stop thinking about...’, you can. You can't stop waves from arriving, but you don't have to surf them.

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If you want to learn more about this I recommend Dr Michael Greenberg’s free articles and content on RF-ERP available here.